Transform Your Leadership: The 3-Step Process to Letting Go

Written by Karen Mack, MSOD, CPCC, PCC, Leadership & Executive Coach for Winning Ways, Inc.

The ability of executive leaders to navigate the complexities of their roles often hinges on the capacity to let go, even when they would rather not – especially when they would rather not. Whether it is letting go of a situation, an experience, a personal or professional relationship, or something else, the idea of “letting go” can be a difficult one to grasp because one may feel a sense of losing control. For example, as a leader, you may be overwhelmed by the number of responsibilities expected of you. Your team is fully capable of taking some things off of your plate, and yet you are having a hard time delegating. It is challenging to let go. However, if this sounds or there is something else you are holding onto that is not serving you, I would invite you to consider what it means to truly let go.

When we cling to that which needs to be released, we may feel sadness, anxiety, depression, frustration, pain, or anger – all of which cloud our ability to think and act rationally. The leader who is overwhelmed because they are holding onto too much rather than trusting in their team to move things along may feel resentful or as though their team is not working hard enough. But, is this really the case? In effect, not letting go creates a negative cycle that can wreak havoc on one’s mental, emotional and physical state of being. Thankfully, hope springs eternal from our power of choice!

We can hold on, and if we do, we have another choice to acknowledge that’s where we are right now while also realizing that it is not where we are required to stay. In time, when it makes the most sense or when the negative cycle has become too much, we can choose to walk a different path. Until then, taking responsibility for our feelings and actions now will better equip us for letting go and later choosing a path that serves us better.

On the other hand, you may be ready to let go. For example, maybe you recently had a difficult conversation with your boss that caused a level of hurt and disappointment. How do you begin the process of letting go and moving forward?

Here are a few steps you might take:

Start your journey by giving yourself permission to let go.

Remember it is a good thing to get rid of what is not serving you or no longer serving you or those around you. This includes feelings, beliefs, actions, etc. Think about how light you will feel when you are free of the baggage that comes with holding on so tightly.

Once you are comfortable with the idea of moving on, do something to change your perspective.

Imagine that a direct report has come to you for advice on how to move on from the exact situation you are experiencing. What would you say to them? If you are having a hard time answering this question, ask a colleague you admire for an objective and honest opinion about what you should do. Note: Make sure that when you explain the situation to others you share it in an unbiased manner. Consider the perspectives others may have, even if you don’t initially believe them, this will help you to see that there is always more than one way to look at something. For example, is it possible that your boss was not criticizing and that they were providing constructive feedback because they want you to be successful? Have you been that boss? How might the outcome have changed if all perspectives were considered by all those in the room that allowed them to let go of negative emotions and move forward?

Engage in reflection and ask yourself a combination of visionary questions.

Reflection and visionary questions are the compass that guides us toward a greater understanding of what we are feeling, how our actions are serving us, and how our actions may serve us better. They prompt us to examine the degree and impact of our attachment to a person, place, perspective, belief, experience, etc., and help us make informed decisions about what to do next.

Here are examples of reflective questions you might consider:

What am I denying myself (and others) by not letting go or holding on to past paradigms or outdated strategies?

Am I sacrificing my mental, emotional, or physical health in pursuit of control?

Are my relationships strained by my inability to release the burden I am carrying?

What is another perspective I might take?

How is holding onto ______ working for me or against me?

Reflection provides insight to make qualified decisions and allows you to have an honest conversation with yourself that can help to change your perspective.

Moreover, visionary questioning ignites our imagination and propels us toward further growth.

Here are a few visionary questions you might ask yourself:

What opportunities might reveal themselves once I let go?

How might I become a better leader by embracing agility, adaptability, and letting go?

What rewards may I see by moving forward?

By envisioning the opportunities, growth, and rewards of letting go, we pave the way for the transformation of ourselves, our teams, and our organizations.

As executive leaders, let us embark on this journey of release with courage and conviction. By relinquishing the past, we pave the way for a future defined by innovation and resilience.

If you would like to unlock more secrets and strategies of highly effective leaders, visit https://www.leadershipevolutionprograms.com/.

Through our executive coaching opportunities and the Leadership Evolution Program, we help leaders of Fortune 500 companies and national organizations better understand and commit to the actions they can take that work best for themselves, their teams, and their organizations.