How Emotional Intelligence Skills Strengthen Your Leadership

Emotional intelligence skills benefit everything you do, every day. It’s why I write and talk about it so often, and why I have been coaching leaders for more than 30 years on how to increase their emotional intelligence. 

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to know what emotions you’re feeling in the moment, being able to express those emotions, and understanding the emotions other people are feeling. (Your emotional quotient, or EQ, measures your level of EI.)

Each EI domain is tied to understanding emotions and relating to others. Developing high emotional intelligence skills in each domain is often a lifelong quest – but a worthwhile one. 

Do a little research online, and you may find a handful of EI domains – or up to a dozen. These four are the gold standard by psychologist, author, and leading expert on EI, Daniel Goleman:

• Self-awareness: you understand your strengths and weaknesses and can recognize your emotions and their effect on you and others
• Self-management: you manage your emotions no matter the situation and maintain a positive outlook in the face of setbacks
• Social awareness: you recognize others’ emotions and adjust your responses
• Relationship management: you influence, coach, and mentor others and resolve conflicts effectively

(We touch on each of these domains in our examples below.)

Research has shown that strong emotional intelligence skills lead to better performance at work:

• Emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs.
• 90% of top performers score highly for emotional intelligence.
• A study conducted at a Motorola manufacturing site found that employees were 93% more productive after undergoing stress management and EI training. 

Key emotional intelligence skills for leaders 

The increased awareness you gain by working on the four EI domains translates into effective leadership in many ways. The four emotional intelligence skills below come up again and again in our coaching practice at Winning Ways.

Empathy

Empathy fuels connection and involves four things:

• taking someone’s perspective
• reserving judgment
• recognizing emotion
• communicating that emotion

In the workplace, empathy allows you to connect with your team, which in turn makes your team more productive and happier, and your organization more successful.

Several years ago, I was brought into an organization to work with one of their leaders. Josh was a go-getter. He honed his skillset so well over the years that he outproduced most people in his industry. 

However, when he was up for his next big promotion, he was passed over. An EQ assessment showed he had low empathy and compassion, so I introduced Josh to some strategies he could start to work on to build better emotional intelligence skills. 

The first:

• Connect with three people each day, by asking, “How are you doing?”

This was hard for him to do, but he kept at it.  One day, he told me he was about to check in with one of his three people when he remembered something. One particular employee told him a few weeks ago that her mother was having surgery. Instead of saying, “How are you doing?” he asked, “How is your mom doing after her surgery?” 

She replied, “Wow, Josh! Thank you for remembering. It means the world to me. My mom is doing well, but it’ll be a long haul until she gets back to her old self.”

This motivated him to continue, and he got better and better at connecting with his colleagues. 

And yes, he did get that next promotion!

Flexible thinking

A flexible thinker is quick to assess and respond to a changing situation. This isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s a must because we are living in a VUCA world marked by volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. 

To be successful, leaders must be creative and stop saying, “But that’s how everyone does it!” 

During the pandemic, an organization I was working with retained two people with very specialized skills. They were in high demand and were on the brink of leaving the company. In fact, one of them had her foot out the door. 

Leadership decided to offer them a four-day work week. Both employees stayed, and they are happy and thriving. 

While it was nerve-wracking to make this change, engagement and productivity have remained high. This organization continues to look for new ways to support its employees.

Problem-solving  

When you find yourself in a high-pressure situation, you can keep your emotions in check, consider options, gather feedback, and solve the problem with confidence.

For example, let’s say you are leading a major project. The day before it’s due, one of your key team members calls in sick. 

You stop and think through the challenge. “What are the main skills she brings to the team? Who could help fill in? Who can take on another piece of this project?” 

You talk to two other team members who have the skillsets and could likely help – and they readily agree. Problem solved, quickly and calmly. 

As for the team member who called in sick, there is no reason to be upset with them. Yes, it was a major disruption, but knowing when to say something and when to drop it is also an important emotional intelligence skill.

Communication 

Active listening means you are completely focused on the person speaking to you. You are not glancing at your phone or jotting down a list of errands you need to run this weekend. Instead, you are looking them in the eye, making “mm-hmm” sounds, and keeping an open mind.

Once that person is done talking, you repeat back what you heard. You may ask clarifying questions to gather more information or resolve the issue. And most importantly, you listen with empathy and compassion.

I have shared the story of Holger Wolff before, and I keep coming back to him because the way he communicated during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic was truly impressive.

One week into the lockdown in Germany, Wolff called an all-staff virtual meeting. During the meeting, he shared a 20-minute PowerPoint presentation that articulated the current situation, what he expected to happen over the next months and what the summer of 2020 will look like for everyone. 

Wolff also shared information about the economic crisis that Germany and the world were heading into, how it would affect their company, and how it would affect each person’s job. Importantly, he provided needed reassurance and stressed that the company could survive the severe financial turbulence. 

Did Wolff have all the answers? Did he have only good news? No, but he shared what he knew, and he was transparent about what he didn’t know. A true lesson in leadership!

What emotional intelligence skills can you strengthen to become an even more effective leader?

You may look back on the list and feel intimidated. “Wow, I have a lot to work on!” Remember that none of us are perfect, and many of us continue to work on one or two EI skills for our entire lives. 

If you want to better understand what EI skills you (and your colleagues) can work on, contact us to take an EI assessment and/or learn more about professional development opportunities around EI. It is a gift for you and for your teammates!

Email us today at info@winningwaysinc.com to start the conversation.