Leadership Lessons About Control I Learned While Trekking in New Zealand

You can learn valuable leadership lessons about control anywhere, including while trekking through the woods. In short, get comfortable with what you can and cannot control and don’t let the need for control get in the way of just “being”.

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity (privilege) to travel to New Zealand for three weeks. It was a bucket list trip, and the highlight was an eight-day backpacking trek. My husband and I traveled on foot for 60+ miles – from lodge to lodge – with everything we “needed” on our backs. (Apparently, we “needed” no more than 17 pounds.) 

I viewed the trip as an opportunity to be in the presence of a beautiful place and space. What I didn’t consciously anticipate were the leadership lessons I would learn about control and the “dance” with “not knowing” in which leaders participate regularly.

There is no time like the present to explore a leader’s relationship to control. For the workforce in general and most organizations, 2025 thus far has brought with it themes of uncertainty, an unraveling of stability, and, at least for me, a perpetual feeling of unease with the unknown. 

I suppose I traveled to New Zealand to escape all this. I also learned more than I anticipated about managing through “chaos” – the source of my supposed escape. Chaos exists everywhere (even in the woods), so lessons about it are accessible all the time.

Three leadership lessons about control

Below I share three leadership lessons about control, how I learned them, and an idea for applying it your own leadership (trip to New Zealand not required).    

Lesson 1: Control does not have to be perpetually illusive

There are things (maybe not everything) that are within your control. It may take time, energy, negotiation with self and others, and structure, but control does not have to be perpetually elusive. 

Prepping for our trek was not a “throwing stuff in a backpack” kind of experience. Sure, there was a packing list and lots of shopping at REI but there was also strategizing about what we needed and what was “nice to have.”

There was packing and re-packing to balance weight before the trek and every morning during the trek. 

There was anticipating and preparing for every knowable circumstance (rain, sun, cold, sand flies). 

Some of our fellow travelers were more prepared than us and some were not. We did everything we could in advance of the trip to be ready because the costs of being unprepared were sufficiently high.

How to apply this leadership lesson

As leaders, we strategize, we set goals and objectives, we prep for meetings in anticipation of being as ready for the “future” as we can be. These are opportunities for control that exist despite an unknowable future. 

So … continue to take stock of what you can control and “pack your backpacks” for every trip. 

Lesson 2: Don’t let control overshadow just being and enjoying

Sometimes control is overrated or undermines being in the moment. There is benefit to trading in some of the “holding” with being, savoring, enjoying, learning.

The hardest day of the trek – the one that literally brought me to tears – required about nine hours on foot. The first four or so were easy in comparison and, counterintuitively, involved climbing up the mountain.

However, the trip down was a different story. It was very rocky, steep, and damp due to waterfall spray, and it required a level of concentration that wrecked me (but also allowed me to avoid a rolled ankle or fall).   

When we arrived at the lodge in the late afternoon, my husband and I had a decision to make. Do we have a snack and then proceed for another 1.5 hours out and back to see the 10th largest waterfall in the world?

For some, the decision would have been a no brainer. Either “Waterfall here I come!” or “No way, no how, I’m toast!” 

I was somewhere in the middle. I was hurting, I was exhausted, and I had laundry to do. Yes, you read correctly – when one is carrying everything on his/her back, laundry is a nightly affair and “seems” mission critical. 

For a moment, I seriously considered laundry over the waterfall, calculating how tired I was, the undesirable evening “rush hour” at the wash basin, and, yes, how “behind” I would be if I took the extra 1.5 hours to explore.   

Long story short, I chose the waterfall, and the laundry got done. 

How to apply this leadership lesson

When does a need for control rob you of the experience or being present in important management moments? When is the tradeoff not worth it?   

As a coach, I hear so many stories about missing out on this or that because of the fear of falling behind at work and wanting to get or stay on top of things. I also hear leaders tell me they are not taking a vacation or night off because they will only fall further behind.

So … allow other experiences (e.g. socializing, sleep, waterfalls) to take priority over keeping a tight hold on your daily routines.

Maybe, there will be a payoff that you can’t even anticipate. For me, it was wonder. 

Lesson 3: Stop trying to control everything – you can’t

There are some things we cannot control. Full stop. 

No matter how much we try, how much we prepare, how much we game out a situation, how much we barter, things happen. 

As I previously shared, the four-hour trek down to the lodge was rough and beyond my control. No amount of packing strategically, power bars, or electrolytes really changed the situation. They helped, but my circumstances were what they were and there was nothing I could do but venture forth. 

How to apply this lesson

Trying to anticipate everything that could go awry is not only exhausting but impossible. 

So … get more comfortable with not knowing, not anticipating, not frontloading, not gripping. 

Your leadership challenge: Place yourself in the “out of ordinary”

I often encourage my leadership coaching clients to place themselves in the “out of ordinary.” This could mean:

• Driving or walking a different route to work
• Inviting a colleague out to lunch who you do not know well
• Making a “risky” delegation assignment
• Leaving unread emails for tomorrow
• Speaking up at a meeting

Or perhaps create an experience outside of work that offers you both positive opportunity and an unknown element:

• Take an art class
• Choose a last-minute mental health day
• Go away for a weekend on your own
• Hike into the wilderness

Whatever you decide to do, ask yourself four questions:

1. In anticipation of doing something new, what can I control? 
2. Where might my need for control get in the way of the experience?
3. When will control be elusive?
4. How can I build capacity for other chaotic situations that await? 

Happy trails!