How to Show Empathy in Leadership
I have been studying and talking about empathy in leadership for decades. It is not a new term or topic, but it is sorely needed in today’s fractured world.
What is empathy?
Empathy is the ability to notice other people’s feelings and just be there for them.
Showing empathy doesn’t require you to experience what they have experienced.
It doesn’t mean trying to relate to someone by sharing your experience. (“Oh, my friend was diagnosed with that same cancer!”)
The best example of empathy is the Jewish practice of sitting shiva with the family of someone who recently died. You just show up and keep them company. You are not expected to do or say anything.
I love what Brene Brown says about it: “Empathy is feeling with people.” (Her wonderful video on empathy, which I have shared many times, is a must-watch.)
Why it’s important to show empathy at work
Showing empathy is hard. As a leader, you may feel the need to help a team member solve a challenge or find coping strategies. You are a do-er, a strategist, a problem solver.
However, working on increasing your empathy by just being there and listening is worth it.
According to an EY Americas study, those surveyed say that mutual empathy between company leaders and employees leads to increased:
- Efficiency by 88%
- Creativity by 87%
- Job satisfaction by 87%
- Idea sharing by 86%
- Innovation by 85%
- Company revenue by 83%
How to show empathy in leadership
Sit and listen
Your employees will struggle with work-related and personal issues. At work, they may be upset about something a colleague said during a meeting or frustrated with a client who is being unreasonable around deadlines.
Because we are human, your employees will bring the personal to work. Maybe they are helping elderly parents move into an assisted living facility.
No matter what is happening, pause and listen to them. You don’t have to agree with them (maybe that client isn’t being unreasonable!). Just show them empathy.
Twoof my friends lost their moms recently. In fact, they all passed within a week of each other. My mom is still alive, so I have not yet experienced what they have. However, I can be with them, and I can feel with them.
My friend Monika lives in Evergreen, CO, the site of our country’s latest school shooting. Her son graduated from Evergreen High School in 2024, but many of her friends have students there. One of her friends whose daughter is a freshman at the high school is struggling. “Julia just picks up the phone and calls me when she needs to talk,” Monika told me. “I stop what I am doing and I just listen as she processes out loud.”
That is empathy.
Put your people first
When a challenge is company- or team-wide, put your peoples’ needs first. Realize it is your job to care for them and prioritize their welfare.
This was Jacinda Ardern’s approach when she was the Prime Minister of New Zealand. (I read her memoir and highly recommend it!)
When she was PM, she was confronted with major crises, including a mass shooting in Christchurch and the COVID-19 pandemic.
After Christchurch, she focused on what the citizens, and especially the children, needed. When she locked down the country at the start of the pandemic, her single goal was to keep everyone safe and healthy.
Jacinda was very clear on her role as leader: Care for the people and make their lives better. In the book, she shared a couple of stories about colleagues who made decisions based on what they needed or wanted, not what the people needed. As you can imagine, those decisions did not sit well with her.
How to become known for empathetic leadership
Every decision Jacinda made helped define her leadership as empathetic, compassionate, and caring.
This really struck me, because we help our clients define their leadership legacy. If you want to be known for showing empathy, you first must define the three words you want to be known for. Empathy is one, so what are the others?
Think about the leaders around you. Who do you connect with as a leader? How are you aligned with them? What qualities do they display that you also want to be known for?
Choose your three words, write them down, and revisit them every day. Make sure they show up in everything you do and say.
Embracing empathy in leadership and clearly defining how you want to be seen as a leader will be transformative for you, your team, and the entire organization.
If you’d like guidance from a certified leadership coach as you define and live your leadership legacy, please reach out anytime to learn more about one-on-one coaching: info@winningwaysinc.com. We look forward to the conversation.